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This? "What I hoped would be a magical experience played out more like the most powerless experience of my life. " This makes me angry. It makes me angry that they didn't tell you what was going on. It's not right, it's not fair. It's fucking lousy bedside manner, at the very least. I'm sorry it was such a bad experience.

BUT. But, there you are, with Baby Buddha, and he is yours and you are his, and he's amazing, and THAT is great.


I think that we all have quite the different experience with childbirth than we planned, I am so sorry for your trauma. It is really sad, because we only have our first child once, if only the medical community were more willing to see us as participants instead of patients to be dealt with, it could be so much more enjoyable. Hopefully you find a way to heal, I am sure sharing your story helps. And remember everything wrong is in the past and you have a wonderful baby boy to share your life with now. Enjoy it, they grow up fast!

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