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I understand that sense of loss. 5 years ago when he was born, I couldn't breastfeed my son either.

I hired a Medela Lactina (hospital grade pump)and pumped every feed instead. I did this for 14 months and several things kept me motivated, one of which was the fear a decision to abandon breastfeeding would come up and hit me (like you mentioned in your post).

I am commenting on this in case you didn't know you had this option.

I'm a fertility counsellor and in my follow up consultations with clients one of the worst issues I find new Mothers who had strongly desired to breastfeed dealing with is regretting not being able to (or not having the right support) to establish breastfeeding.

Best wishes to you and baby. You're a good mother and you make good decisions!


I'm so glad you are giving yourself permission to let go!


Any decision you make that makes your time with your son more enjoyable for him and for YOU is going to be the right decision. I also struggled for months with breastfeeding Gabe, and now all I have is a memory of struggling. Just remember that many fully functional, well-adjusted, even happy and successful adults weren't breastfed as infants (including most of us). So everything will be okay, enjoy your son now that you can!

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