It's official, we're in our very last month! I have 4 weeks until my due date which means that I could give birth any day now... or it could go into November. I figure that since I'm so worried about him arriving early (because my work isn't done yet) that he will arrive early. My dear friend Irish Goddess laughs at this opinion and assures me that I will be begging the gods to release my child from my womb on my due date. I'm not sure who I want to be right. Frankly, after the myriad of classes that Bruno and I have attended to prepare for the baby's entrance into this world, we're ready NOW!
Although, mentally being prepared and actually being prepared are two totally different things! I'm much less afraid of the whole birthing process now. As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to look forward to it. I've taken bits and pieces of information and coping techniques from my birthing class, my yoga class and a book called, "Birthing From Within" and come up with my own hybrid plan. It involves relaxing music and a focal point that I'm trying to talk Bruno into painting for me. I'll be using chanting during contractions and lots and lots of drugs. That's one thing that I'm certain about! If all of my "birthing in a hut and feeling the earth below me" crap doesn't work, the drugs surely will! Yeah for epidurals! (And yes, I'm aware of the risks. I saw the movie in class last week.)
Yesterday we picked up a few more things for the baby. I've been very stressed out about not having a diaper bag yet. It really hit us both the other night that we could no longer put off the purchase when I experienced my 4th contraction of the day. They were Braxton-Hicks contractions and we both knew it, but it freaked us out none-the-less. If this baby comes tomorrow, we better damn well be prepared! So now, the only things that I'm still missing are a heavy winter coat and a heavy stroller blanket. I've looked high and low for a coat and have found nothing. It may still be too early in the season. We did purchase a really heavy snow type outfit that, if it's snowing or just damn cold out, he will be nice and toasty in. And adorable! And we have a crib blanket that we could use as a stroller blanket in a pinch. So, the world won't end if I go into labor without having these things. They sure would put my mind at ease though!
As for my own physical health... I'm not doing as well as I had hoped. It bums me out to see women as far along as I am and mobile. I'm not mobile at all. I can walk for short periods of time but it has become so painful that I would rather not. I have a collapsed pelvis (or something like that) and so the pressure of my pelvis or my uterus or something (who knows?) is pressing against my sciatic nerve and making it nearly impossible to walk. The collapsed pelvis creates a whole different set of problems of its own as well. I can only take VERY SMALL steps when I walk so it takes me forever to get anywhere. I usually have to lean against Bruno for support because my pelvis won't consistently sustain me- which means that it randomly gives out on me and I begin to fall. I haven't fallen all the way to the ground because I've managed to catch myself first (or Bruno catches me) but it's only a matter of time. At night it becomes so bad that I need to brace myself against the wall to get around the house. So forget cooking or cleaning or doing dishes. I can't do any of those things because of the pain. Most of the time this would be a great thing, but right now I'm filled with this nesting instinct that I can't fulfill. I can't even go up or down the stairs to do laundry, so none of the baby's clothes have been washed yet. I'm just hoping and praying that this goes away quickly after the baby is born. I did get a referral to see a specialist but by the time that I can get in I'll only have about two weeks left in the pregnancy. And, I'll only get (maybe) one session after that. I made the appointments but then cancelled them because it seemed like more of a hassle than anything.
That's about it in my world. It's all baby all the time now. The few friends that we've made around here are having a tough time understanding that, so we've slowly had to distance ourselves from them. One of them actually called us from a bar at nearly midnight on Saturday. We didn't answer the phone because, what's the point. They obviously just don't get that our lives are very very different than theirs. I'm hoping that they'll just get bored with us and drift away. Nice, huh? I'm actually ready for it to happen though.
Well, that's the update in babyland. Now I'm off to work...
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