My Weblog

A Star Is Born!

The baby has arrived! I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to let everyone know that we are both doing well. Baby Buddha (that's his nickname) arrived on October 26th at 11:06 pm. He weighed 6 lbs 15 oz and was 20 inches long. He spent the first few days of his life in NICU but is doing fantastic now. I'm having a difficult recovery because the little bugger was posterior and required a vacuum to extract him. I also had a fever during the labor caused by an infection in the amniotic sac. We were both on IV antibiotics for 48 hours before we were given the all clear. My nether regions haven't faired as well though and I'm pretty sure that I look like I have railroad tracks from one end to the other. It was worth it though because my boy is the most amazing treasure in the world. Bruno and I did something right in this world to end up with such a precious gift. Now, if this precious gift would only stop pooping so much and maybe let us get more than 2 hours of sleep a night... Sigh. I've never been so happy in my entire life. Yup, now I'm crying... again...

Why Bruno's Afraid Of Me

It's been days (maybe even weeks?) since my last post and I know that some of you might be thinking that I've been busy having a baby or something. No. No baby. I've been busy being in a somewhat foul mood though. Yup. Because there is no baby yet. I realize that my due date isn't for another two weeks, but we've had many indications that this baby is coming early, yet he remains illusive. He's the illusive baby.

In the past couple of weeks we've had two occasions to visit labor and delivery, both times being sent home with news that the baby is fine and that they expect to see us soon. How soon is soon, I want to know. Did you know that baby's operate on their own timeline? And that apparently, doctors, with all of their wisdom and education, still can't even come close to telling you when this kid is popping out. Sure, they can pick a date on the calendar and call it your "due" date, but even then they'll tell you that there's really only a 5% chance that you'll actually have the baby on that date. Thanks. I have better odds of getting struck by lightening.

So, I'm stuck reading tea leaves and deciphering bullshit horoscopes in search of a clue as to when this child will arrive. Can you sense that I have a problem with patience? And control? And maybe, just maybe, I have a slight attitude problem to boot?

Bruno says that he's been really lucky during this pregnancy because I haven't been the emotional, bitchy pregnant woman that we expected I would be. You know, because the world has a stereo-type of the lunatic pregnant woman and the partner is supposed to sit by and take abuse from his (or her) significant other to make up for the fact that they themselves aren't carrying the unborn child. Well, I wasn't like that. I think that I only snapped at Bruno once or twice the whole 10 months- and even those times I apologized right away. Which is odd, to be certain, because I tend to be on the emotional side. I guess just not so much on the bitchy side. Where some women spend their 10 months of pregnancy throwing sharp objects at their significant others, I just spent at least 5 minutes of each and every day crying.

But let me tell you, I think that all of my bitchiness has been saved up for this final push to the end. I'm still not channeling it at Bruno, but it's there! For instance, this morning I read in the news that the post office is planning on phasing out the vending machines that sell stamps and this made me really f-ing angry. Like crazy machete-wielding-killer kind of angry. "How dare they?" I ranted. "The only good thing about the post office is that you can go in there and buy stamps without ever having to talk to a postal employee! The sons-of-bitches!" The tirade went on for a good 15 minutes before I realized how crazy I sounded. I looked over at Bruno (poor poor Bruno) who was sitting next to me quietly. "I'm feeling a little passionate about this," I said. "I can tell," he replied. Then he fled the room. I haven't actually seen him since. I think that he's doing dishes... and hiding the sharp knives....

So, since I can barely stand all of my bitching (and I'm the one doing the bitching), I've been trying just about everything to get this child out. Here is a list of things that I've attempted:

1. Eating spicy foods
2. Driving on the bumpiest roads in Detroit (and aiming at the pot holes!)
3. Bouncing up and down on my birthing ball
4. Walking, walking, walking
5. Intimate relations with the husband
6. Acupressure
7. Aromatherapy
8. Cleaning the entire house (including the bathtub on my hands and knees)
9. Guided imagery
10. Eating oregano, basil, cilantro and eggplant (not all at once)
11. Bargaining with the baby
12. Bribing the baby
13. Threatening the baby

Things that I have not tried:

1. Drinking castor oil
2. Black cohosh
3. An enema (which Bruno's aunt swears by)
4. Raspberry tea

I think that it's safe to say that I won't be trying any of the things on the last list, although the closer that we get the more desperate I become.

So, if you wonder where I am over the next couple of days, rest assured that I'm probably not having a baby but rather I'm keeping busy bouncing up and down on the birthing ball or chasing down pot holes from here to Chicago. If you happen to know of anything else that might work, please email me or leave a comment. And if your advice is to be patient, well please save it for someone else. Someone who isn't carrying a small elephant in her uterus. Thank you.

Why I Believe That Saturday Is THE DAY

Based off of my lengthy research I've come up with the date that I'm thinking our baby will arrive: Saturday, October 14th. How did I come to this conclusion? Astrology. Again. I know that I said that I didn't believe, but maybe I do...

Here's my horoscope for October 14th:

Someone is starting a new phase of their life today, and you will be tuned into it. Excessive worry can have you trapped in a mental loop. While you may not enjoy it, you could get so obsessed over one anxiety that you stay stuck there. Go for a walk and do some deep breathing. Break the cycle.

And here's the baby's horoscope for the same day:

Some walls are coming down today -- this collapse will reveal a wonderful new truth. Quiet times with one or two intimates helps your day get off to a peaceful and loving start. By the evening, you're ready to twist and shout. Yours is the one sign that knows how to balance out social and personal time.

This is clearly hard scientific evidence that our child will arrive on Saturday! Anyone want to weigh in on the date??? I can't offer a prize, but isn't simply being right enough?

Is It In The Stars?!?

Friday we had our first trip to Labor and Delivery. They checked me out and sent me home with the news that baby is fine (which we knew) and that they would probably be seeing us again in a week or two.... for baby! We thought that the trip might be "the one" and so the morning was spent scrambling to finish off the last minute details that still had not been completed. Most of them didn't get done. At one point Bruno was running around mumbling things to himself when I gently placed my hands on his shoulders, looked him in the eye and asked him if he was ok. "NO! I'm NOT ok!" Then he mopped the kitchen and the bathroom floors. If I hadn't have been slightly freaking out myself I might have questioned his logic, but who was I to say how he should be handling this? And now our floors are clean enough to eat off of! So if I choose to nurse the baby while lying on the bathroom floor, I can do that without endangering the baby's health.

The fact that we spent the better part of Friday thinking that baby was arriving sooner than expected (much much sooner!) prompted us to move like mad this weekend, attempting to finish up the last little items that still needed attention. So now, the baby's clothes, bedding and bathing linens are all freshly laundered and put away. His bedroom is free of the miscellaneous boxes that once resided there and his furniture has been moved in. Bruno spent a good half hour vacuuming the carpet in the little 10 foot by 10 foot space, even though we've probably only been in there a handful of times. I don't really know what his obsession with immaculate floors is, but I guess I'm not complaining. Now we only have a small laundry list of things to do which will get done in the coming week. All in all, we're in pretty good shape. I wish that I could say the same for my work!

So, this morning I was perusing the internet when I randomly decided to check out my horoscope. Let me premise this by saying that I don't EVER check my horoscope or even really subscribe to astrology. OK, premise out of the way, here's what it said:

Leo: Today is a turning point when the slate is wiped clean and the future is wide open.

I gasped out loud when I read it and then re-read it to Bruno who also thought it was interesting. Then we decided to look up the baby's horoscope, but didn't know what his sign was so we looked up Libra which will cover him if he arrives before the 22nd.

Libra: Sometimes, you have to invite people into your life. Not everyone barges right in. Think about putting down roots. That doesn't necessarily mean staying in one place. It does mean thinking about an area of your life where you need to make a commitment. Now take one step toward making it real.

Is this a sign?

Progress At Last!

Progress at last! After my last post I decided that major headway needed to be made in the baby preparation department. So, I took matters into my own hands. I took all of the baby's clothes out of his dresser and closet and sorted them by color and washing instructions. Then I cut all of the tags off and put them in bags with instructions for Bruno on how to wash them. I would do the laundry myself but our washer and dryer are in the basement and I can't navigate the stairs anymore. After all of my hard work and careful labeling, my plan kind of fell apart though when Bruno failed to read my instructions and washed everything on cold. Oh well. It didn't hurt anything and was actually quite funny that I put all of that work into labeling for nothing. We both got a good laugh out of it. And we both thoroughly enjoyed looking at all of the baby's little clothes. Man were there a lot of them! I still need to wash his receiving blankets and bedding, but we don't have the crib yet so I'm not so worried about the bedding.

I'm also almost finished packing my overnight bag for the hospital. Tonight is our last class and we're supposed to bring our packed bags with us to prove that we're ready. We also have to show the teacher our installed baby seat, so Bruno took care of that yesterday. It's odd driving around with it, but it makes my heart smile to think that in a few weeks he'll be in it!

So, I just need to finish up the last few details of packing my bag, which includes the focal point paintings that Bruno's working on (as I type this!) and the music that I still need to pick out. I went to the library yesterday and checked out 10 cds so now I'm going to listen to them and pick the ones that I want to take with me. Hopefully there will be some winners in there. I selected a few classical cds, some soft jazz (which could be scary since I'm such a jazz purist!) and a few "new age" cds. I'm not particularly fond of new age, but we've listened to some in our birthing class and they've been quite soothing. I'll try anything to alleviate stress and/or pain!

I have a list now of things that still need to be done, but I feel good about crossing things off of it. Each day I get one step closer to finishing up my work and I'm confident that it will all get done. I can't believe that we are so close to the finish line. Or is it the start line?

On a completely different note: A long long time ago (13 years ago???) I had my belly button pierced. It didn't take too well (it got infected) so I had to remove the piercing. Maybe six months later I decided to try again and the same thing happened. It turns out that I'm allergic to any metals other than gold and platinum (poor me, huh?). Anyhow, both piercings left small scars and I always wondered what would happen to those scars when I became pregnant. Well, now I know: they split open. At least one of them has. Just a little bit, but enough to be uncomfortable and require calendula and a band-aid. Eeewww, huh? So, if you're thinking about getting a piercing (as if anyone of the "I'm getting a piercing, dude!" age even reads this blog...), maybe you should avoid the belly region. I can't speak for any other regions, but that one... not so good with a pregnant belly. You can consider that my public service announcement for the month of October.

The Baby Update

It's official, we're in our very last month! I have 4 weeks until my due date which means that I could give birth any day now... or it could go into November. I figure that since I'm so worried about him arriving early (because my work isn't done yet) that he will arrive early. My dear friend Irish Goddess laughs at this opinion and assures me that I will be begging the gods to release my child from my womb on my due date. I'm not sure who I want to be right. Frankly, after the myriad of classes that Bruno and I have attended to prepare for the baby's entrance into this world, we're ready NOW!

Although, mentally being prepared and actually being prepared are two totally different things! I'm much less afraid of the whole birthing process now. As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to look forward to it. I've taken bits and pieces of information and coping techniques from my birthing class, my yoga class and a book called, "Birthing From Within" and come up with my own hybrid plan. It involves relaxing music and a focal point that I'm trying to talk Bruno into painting for me. I'll be using chanting during contractions and lots and lots of drugs. That's one thing that I'm certain about! If all of my "birthing in a hut and feeling the earth below me" crap doesn't work, the drugs surely will! Yeah for epidurals! (And yes, I'm aware of the risks. I saw the movie in class last week.)

Yesterday we picked up a few more things for the baby. I've been very stressed out about not having a diaper bag yet. It really hit us both the other night that we could no longer put off the purchase when I experienced my 4th contraction of the day. They were Braxton-Hicks contractions and we both knew it, but it freaked us out none-the-less. If this baby comes tomorrow, we better damn well be prepared! So now, the only things that I'm still missing are a heavy winter coat and a heavy stroller blanket. I've looked high and low for a coat and have found nothing. It may still be too early in the season. We did purchase a really heavy snow type outfit that, if it's snowing or just damn cold out, he will be nice and toasty in. And adorable! And we have a crib blanket that we could use as a stroller blanket in a pinch. So, the world won't end if I go into labor without having these things. They sure would put my mind at ease though!

As for my own physical health... I'm not doing as well as I had hoped. It bums me out to see women as far along as I am and mobile. I'm not mobile at all. I can walk for short periods of time but it has become so painful that I would rather not. I have a collapsed pelvis (or something like that) and so the pressure of my pelvis or my uterus or something (who knows?) is pressing against my sciatic nerve and making it nearly impossible to walk. The collapsed pelvis creates a whole different set of problems of its own as well. I can only take VERY SMALL steps when I walk so it takes me forever to get anywhere. I usually have to lean against Bruno for support because my pelvis won't consistently sustain me- which means that it randomly gives out on me and I begin to fall. I haven't fallen all the way to the ground because I've managed to catch myself first (or Bruno catches me) but it's only a matter of time. At night it becomes so bad that I need to brace myself against the wall to get around the house. So forget cooking or cleaning or doing dishes. I can't do any of those things because of the pain. Most of the time this would be a great thing, but right now I'm filled with this nesting instinct that I can't fulfill. I can't even go up or down the stairs to do laundry, so none of the baby's clothes have been washed yet. I'm just hoping and praying that this goes away quickly after the baby is born. I did get a referral to see a specialist but by the time that I can get in I'll only have about two weeks left in the pregnancy. And, I'll only get (maybe) one session after that. I made the appointments but then cancelled them because it seemed like more of a hassle than anything.

That's about it in my world. It's all baby all the time now. The few friends that we've made around here are having a tough time understanding that, so we've slowly had to distance ourselves from them. One of them actually called us from a bar at nearly midnight on Saturday. We didn't answer the phone because, what's the point. They obviously just don't get that our lives are very very different than theirs. I'm hoping that they'll just get bored with us and drift away. Nice, huh? I'm actually ready for it to happen though.

Well, that's the update in babyland. Now I'm off to work...