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Oh, baby.

Let me let you in on a Big Secret:

None of us knows what to do the first time.

Oh, some women make it look easy, but don't be fooled: No-one knows what to do. Every new mom is scared as snot that they're going to Mess Things Up.

When we were fully and truly committed to our adoption, but before we met the dotter, I had a panic attack that had me gaping like a frog at my husband, asking forlornly, "What if she *doesn't LIKE me*???"

I'm constantly afraid I'm going to mess the dotter up. That she's going to spend years in therapy just because of things I do.

The best you can do is muddle through.

Big hugs. You'll muddle through.


I know it sucks being alone in a place that is far away from your friends and family. I can tell you two things though: 1. You're going to get through this, and you will do it better than you can even imagine. 2. I am willing to come help you out in any way you want! Hang in there, sweetie. Just let me know when you're ready for the help and/or companionship and I'll be there.


Any time you need me I'm here or there if i can work it out. omegamom is right, we all just fake it the best we can and try to smile all the while. Once i read an article by a mom in a parenting magazine about her bursting into tears anywhere anytime about anything. I thought I was the only one who did that. I guess its motherhood. its all stressful and sometimes the only thing we can do is cry.
I feel your fear about loosing your little guy. I would panic if i hadn't felt the baby move for a while or if i just felt weird. I was worried all the time. I still am worried. i think i will have the fear of loosing my kids for the rest of my life. it just gets a little easier to deal with the more time that goes on and the bigger they get. be glad you feel him moving and except that little relief you feel each time he does.
Yes, we are far away but when you need us we will be THERE. my kids are big enough that i can leave them for a bit to come help you out. i was already planning on offering. just call me any time, for anything. we love you and we'll help you any way we can.
it'll be great!


I am so sorry you are going through this. I also have anxiety attacks and I use to take Xanax but because of other problems I had to quit taking it and had to just learn to deal with them as best as I can. Its no fun. As far as being a mom I promise it is something you just do. It will come naturally to you when they place baby in your arms so dont stress about that. As far as what you need if you need any help with that I can tell you what you need...what is a must have and what you really dont have to have. Again, I am sorry you are struggling with this right now.


One more thing. If its at all possible rent you a heartbeat monitor. I was a total mess with my first and thought every second that she wouldnt make it...that there was no way I could carry a baby to term. I was still in shock even after they handed her to me. I couldnt believe she had made it. I went for stress tests and had probably 7 ultrasounds cause I always thought something was terribly wrong..but you know what she was 100 percent perfect. Now I worry about this one. I havent had but one ultrasound super early so I have no idea if this one is normal and OK. I have dreams there is something really wrong with it. But one thing that gives me some peace of mind is that heartbeat monitor. Anytime I havent felt movement I can get it out and liten to the heartbeat and know that baby is just asleep.

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