Don't you just love a good mystery? Since I am now an official Michigander, I spend each and every morning scrolling through the Detroit news websites. Usually the news consists of stabbings, beatings, murders and Amber Alerts, with the occasional house fire thrown in for good measure. When I first moved here I was riveted by the gore, the unbelievable amount of crime that was occurring just outside my very own front door. I would read a story and then pull up the cross streets on yahoo maps to see just how close I was to flying bullets, swooping knives, and swinging bats of menace. It turns out that most of the time I was within walking distance. Well, at least until I moved to the 'burbs.
Living in Detroit was a complete 180 from where I grew up in the serene suburbs of Orange County. Yeah, we had our periodic butcher knife wielding maniac, but only every few years or so. Most crime consisted of embezzled campaign funds or frat boys raping other frat boys. Your basic white collar crime. But here in the city of motown, crime isn't even blue collar. It's no collar, no shirt, no shoes, no belt- just a rope... It's crazy ass crime! And it's not just the "beat down" residents who are committing these crimes! This crime spree travels all the way to the mayor's front door (and I suspect that once it enters his house, it lounges around the pool, drinks a forty in his study and then does a few lines in the middle of his marital bed).
So, yesterday as I was perusing the daily crime log (aka: The Detroit Free Press), I ran across a story that has everything:
(1) illustrious mayor of Detroit
(1) bullet ridden body of a stripper
(1) elicit sex party at the mayor's mansion where said stripper performed her final pole dance
(2) homicide detectives demoted to street patrol after questioning the mayor's involvement
(1) medical examiner testifying in court that the bullets extracted from the dead stripper's corpse came from a police issue weapon
Ahhh... Me thinks a cover up has occurred...
I just love Detroit!
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