Aha! I'm back! I've been swamped with work and then the weekend came and I needed a healthy dose of "nothing" to become my beautiful wonderful self again. With Bruno back in school I have way too much time on my own to wander through the empty house and ponder life. But, the beauty of work is that it just keeps coming, whether you have a mid-life crisis to deal with or not. So, this week I am back to barely being able to see over the stacks of research surrounding me and generally pulling out my hair. At least my new bald spot is due to something other than the "baby game". Nope this shiny bit of scalp is all thanks to the impending deadlines that are always just around the corner.
A couple of days ago I posted a rant about my job as a freelance writer, but after a day of having it out there in cyberspace, floating for all the world (and my clients) to see, I thought that it was best to take it down. I kept having visions of that fashion editor who blogged about the people at her work and then subsequently lost her job and another job offer that was on the table. As much as my job drives me nuts, I can't afford to lose clients simply because I can't keep a private journal like Anne Frank or Brigette Jones did. But, to recap my multitude of paragraphs now languishing in the e-dustbin of history, this is the gist of my complaints:
My clients are driving me kind of nuts (but in a loving, maternal kind of way- you know, just in case they are reading this...)
I am tired of an ongoing project that requires me to write a monthly magazine column- I enjoy the job, but I might, just maybe, be ready to move on...
I have a book proposal that I am working on (as a ghost writer, but of course) and it is the bane of my existence. Not because I don't want to write a book, but because the topic is motherhood- a topic that has managed to remain a fantasy in my world thus far. I love this book and it is near and dear to my heart, but also a constant source of torture as Bruno and I want a child but pregnancy seems to continually elude us.
And finally, the culmination of all my grievances... Something needs to change in my career because I'm simply no longer happy.
This all leads me to what happened yesterday. Shortly after I deleted the post from my site I received a phone call from one of my clients. About a year ago I was asked to write an introduction for a book that was still in its proposal state. I really enjoyed the project and then it was over. Not the biggest job of my career, but so be it. So, now it turns out that the writer that they had contracted with has left the country and they want me to finish the book. I'm supposed to have a meeting with the powers that be to discuss it all in the next day or so. It may not happen. Maybe the terms will suck or something else will get in the way. Maybe they won't want me after all. But, I don't think that really matters. Even if I don't end up doing the book it still feels good that the possibility was there. So, for today, I am happy!
One of my columns is due tomorrow (I actually have two columns to write each month) and so I should run off and start writing. I have a renewed sense of... what's the word? Vigor? Wellbeing? Hope? I don't know. I can't pinpoint the feeling just now. Whatever it is, it feels good and I'm just going to go with that.
Update on the "Baby Game": Ding! Ding! Ding! Round 5 has begun!
Comments